After a head sonogram and then a skull X-ray this morning at a neighborhood hospital, it was determined that Z had a skull fracture. Our doctor sent us into the city to a fancier hospital for a full neuro consult and possible CT scan in the pediatric ER.
After examining Zachary (who was actually in good spirits) and looking at the X-rays, the doctors here determined that there was no need for a CT scan, which was great news. The not so great news was that because we couldn’t identify a cause of the fracture, they needed to keep him overnight and do a full body X-ray series in the morning to rule out any other injuries. Matt and I decided that he should go home, pick up milo from my friends house, pack us a bag and come back as soon as he could. Z and I waited in the ER for them to take us upstairs.
Outside of the 20 minutes it took to X-ray him (where he kicked and screamed like a banshee), Z has been in good spirits. He’s been smiling and laughing with all the nurses and staff, and has basically charmed his way into every heart so far, despite not eating or napping on schedule.
It’s been tough on several levels. Foremost, of course, is that our child has an injury. It doesn’t seem to be serious in the sense that he’s fine, but a skull fracture is no joke. And I feel terrible and dreadful and guilty and all the things you would expect to feel when your kid is injured. It has also been a little scary and embarrassing because social workers needed to be consulted and legal requirements met. I understand why those things happened, and in a way it’s reassuring because it means that the system is working at least a little and kids are being protected, at least the ones seen by this particular set of healthcare workers. It doesn’t make it any easier though when you’re trying to hold back tears to explain the sequence of events for the 5th time to yet another person with a series of letters after their name. I wanted to explain to them that I’m a good mom, that we are good parents, that even though I’m not going to win any awards for best birthday party decorations or cutest nursery, I’m really good at the important stuff. But of course, you can’t really say any of that, all you can really do is to hope that your tremendous love for your child shines through in an obvious way to everyone.
We’re so lucky to have an extraordinarily caring and sensitive pediatrician, who took the time to make extra calls on our behalf and to us individually. He’s one of Brooklyn’s best pediatricians, no doubt. And we are so, so grateful to have friends to help out with Milo at a moment’s notice. Despite having a 2.5 year old and being pregnant, my lovely friend Kristy took on milo for the whole day today. And our dear friends Bridget and Russell offered to take milo all day tomorrow so that Matt can come back up here and be with Zachary and me as we deal with the X-rays. And a special thank you to all my tumblr/instagram friends for the outpouring of support through messages and comments that you sent me. I love you guys.