The good thing about having both a baby and a two year old is that when the toddler is acting like an insane demon from hell and throwing a 55 minute-long tantrum (not an exaggeration) over, I don’t know, I guess he was throwing a tantrum about waking up from his nap? Maybe something about not being able to eat all of the cookies? I don’t know. The point is, the good thing about having a baby in your house is that while this screaming banshee of a two year old is freaking out so intensely that you feel the desire to scream, pull out your hair, pull out the toddler’s hair, Drink All The Wine and cry, you can instead scoop up your precious cuddle-bug of a baby, go into your bedroom, shut the door a little, lay down on the bed with the baby and just breathe him in.
Maybe prop the baby up on your belly against your knees so he makes that funny grin and does his little alley cat howl. Eat his toes for a minute, maybe blow some raspberries on his fat little belly and make him giggle. Cuddle him close, maybe let him nurse for a minute. Close your eyes, rub your nose on his head, fantasize about being by yourself in a fancy hotel room with a big comfy bed and a gigantic bath tub and room service that’s about to deliver you a cheeseburger and a margarita. Feel your stress levels decrease a little, take some deep breaths. Blow one more raspberry on the baby’s belly.
Pick up the baby, go back out into the living room and put him down on a blanket. Take a deep breath, put an understanding smile on your face and go back into your toddler’s room. Put the toddler on your lap, hold him close, try to help him find a way back to sanity. Remain calm, patient, understanding. Be grateful that only one of your children is currently capable of being a pain in the neck. Try not to think too much about what it might be like in two years when both of them will be capable of tantrums.